Nature Wants to Eat You
The black mamba is actually a light grey, so why is it called the bla… OH GOD CLOSE THE MOUTH CLOSE THE MOUTH.
Yes, the inside of its mouth is black. It’s like staring into the abyss. Other than that, its aggressive temperament, its potent venom, the fact that it’s one of the world’s fastest snakes, and its ability to lift the front third of its body off the ground so it’s basically staring you in the eye, it’s not that scary. Think of it as a long kitten.

The black mamba is actually a light grey, so why is it called the bla… OH GOD CLOSE THE MOUTH CLOSE THE MOUTH.

Yes, the inside of its mouth is black. It’s like staring into the abyss. Other than that, its aggressive temperament, its potent venom, the fact that it’s one of the world’s fastest snakes, and its ability to lift the front third of its body off the ground so it’s basically staring you in the eye, it’s not that scary. Think of it as a long kitten.

Several years ago, I would have said that the Komodo dragon’s bite was lethal because the bacteria in its filthy mouth cause blood poisoning. Now, we know that the dragon is also venomous. Its jaws are weak but its neck is strong. It’s adapted to inflict gaping wounds by biting lightly and tearing ferociously. Then, if your day wasn’t going badly enough, it drools venom inside.
Find out more here.
Image source

Several years ago, I would have said that the Komodo dragon’s bite was lethal because the bacteria in its filthy mouth cause blood poisoning. Now, we know that the dragon is also venomous. Its jaws are weak but its neck is strong. It’s adapted to inflict gaping wounds by biting lightly and tearing ferociously. Then, if your day wasn’t going badly enough, it drools venom inside.

Find out more here.

Image source

Good advice above. The pointy end belongs to the viperfish, whose teeth are so long that they have to curve around its face when it closes its mouth. Fishbase says that its “harmless” to humans, which is exactly what the viperfish wants you to think.
Source: Pacificoceanworks

Good advice above. The pointy end belongs to the viperfish, whose teeth are so long that they have to curve around its face when it closes its mouth. Fishbase says that its “harmless” to humans, which is exactly what the viperfish wants you to think.

Source: Pacificoceanworks

This is a hookworm. According to the CDC, between 576 and 740 million people have this little hell-bastard writhing around in their guts.
Photos: AJC1
(And here’s a great piece on how the hookworm shaped the economics of the southern US)

This is a hookworm. According to the CDC, between 576 and 740 million people have this little hell-bastard writhing around in their guts.

Photos: AJC1

(And here’s a great piece on how the hookworm shaped the economics of the southern US)

Ah Dunkleosteus - because why have teeth, when your entire skull  could be made of massive armoured machetes. It was 33 feet long, could  exert 8,000 pounds per square inch at the tip of each “fang”, and it could open its jaws in a fiftieth of a second to suck prey in. 
It is also long, long extinct which is the only reason you are not currently crying in a corner, begging for mercy.

Ah Dunkleosteus - because why have teeth, when your entire skull could be made of massive armoured machetes. It was 33 feet long, could exert 8,000 pounds per square inch at the tip of each “fang”, and it could open its jaws in a fiftieth of a second to suck prey in. 

It is also long, long extinct which is the only reason you are not currently crying in a corner, begging for mercy.

"Hey, Barry, half your face is missing. Also: louse tongue."

You know how it goes: one day you’re swimming happily along, and then a parasitic louse swims through your gills, drinks all the blood from your tongue until it wastes away and then insinuates its own body in the now empty space. It must be Thursday.

The fish really can use the tongue-eating louse (actually an isopod) like a normal tongue.


The lamprey has no jaws, but the lamprey needs no jaws. It uses this sucker to latch on to the bodies of other fish, rasp away at their flesh, and drink their blood.
So why then would you allow someone to do this to you?

The lamprey has no jaws, but the lamprey needs no jaws. It uses this sucker to latch on to the bodies of other fish, rasp away at their flesh, and drink their blood.

So why then would you allow someone to do this to you?

Oh look, a seal! Seals are cuddly! It’s a cuddly flaying!
Leopard seals are not cuddly. They’re the lions of the Antarctic. Go over to Paul Nicklen’s gallery for some incredible shots (and some disturbing ones that show what this mouth does to a penguin). Or watch this great video of a leopard seal failing to teach Paul how to hunt.

Oh look, a seal! Seals are cuddly! It’s a cuddly flaying!

Leopard seals are not cuddly. They’re the lions of the Antarctic. Go over to Paul Nicklen’s gallery for some incredible shots (and some disturbing ones that show what this mouth does to a penguin). Or watch this great video of a leopard seal failing to teach Paul how to hunt.

The moray eel has a second set of jaws in its throat that can launch  forwards, like Giger’s Alien. It bites prey with the first set, and  pulls them in with the second.
(More here)

The moray eel has a second set of jaws in its throat that can launch forwards, like Giger’s Alien. It bites prey with the first set, and pulls them in with the second.

(More here)

The trapjaw ant: its jaws can open at 180 degrees, and snap shut at  between 78 and 140 miles per hour. That’s the world’s fastest bite.
Source: Alex Wild

The trapjaw ant: its jaws can open at 180 degrees, and snap shut at between 78 and 140 miles per hour. That’s the world’s fastest bite.

Source: Alex Wild